if i can run in heels then i can drive
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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