yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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