I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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