What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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