i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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