Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
