when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
