so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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