i may or may not be watching the land before time
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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