..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
