question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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