i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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