It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How external is "for external use only"?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
