Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I fill condoms, not promises.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
