please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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