big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
