Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
