His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
