3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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