That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
