tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
why is half of my head shaved?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
