U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
