I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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