sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
