Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
