bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
