well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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