Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
