Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
