i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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