so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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