Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
