We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
