you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
