Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i would punch a child for taco bell
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my god I love twenty year old dicks
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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