Your tits are I can't wait for
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Come on in and take your pants off
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