WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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