i already hear my dad disowning me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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