So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
