nut hugger
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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