i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Holy shit dude........stairs
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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