Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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