Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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