Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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