you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
