I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think your dad took our porno
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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