party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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