I smell stomach acid.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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