apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
