Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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