some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
