He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
FUCK WHALES
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
