tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it glows. i had to have it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize