it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
