Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
