she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
