you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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