I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
