When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
