from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
