we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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