A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I got chris browned last night
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
