yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
